Hagar Page 8

  CHAPTER VIII

  HAGAR AND LAYDON

  This is what they did. The next day was soft as balm. To Hagar, sittingin the sun on the step of the west porch, came the sound of stepsover the fallen leaves of what was called at Eglantine the SyringaAlley--sycamore boughs above and syringa bushes thickly planted andgrown tall, making winding walls for a winding path. The red surgedover Hagar, her eyes, dark-ringed, half-closed. Laydon, emergingfrom the alley, came straight toward her, over a space of gravel andwind-brought leaves. It was mid-morning, the place open and sunny, tobe viewed from more windows than one, with the servants, moreover,going to and fro on their morning business, apt to pass this gable end.Aunt Dorinda, for instance, the old, turbaned cook, passed, but she sawnothing but one of the teachers stopping to say, "Merry Christmas!" toMiss Hagar. All the servants liked Miss Hagar.

  What Laydon said was not "Merry Christmas!" but, "Hagar, Hagar! thatwas Love came to us last night! I have not slept. I have been like amadman all night! I did not know there was such a force in the world."

  "I did not sleep either," answered Hagar. "I did not sleep at all."

  "Every one can see us here. Let us walk toward the gate, through thealley."

  She rose from the step and went with him. Well in the shelter of thesyringa, hidden from the house, he stopped, and laid his hands lightlyupon her shoulders, then, as she did not resist, drew her to him. Theykissed, they clung together in a long embrace, they uttered love'simmemorial words, smothering each with each, then they fell apart; andHagar first buried her face in her hands, then, uncovering it, brokeinto tremulous laughter, laughter that had a sobbing note.

  "What will they say at Gilead Balm--oh, what will they say at GileadBalm?"

  "Say!" answered Laydon. "They'll say that they wish your happiness!Hagar, how old are you?"

  "I'm nearly eighteen."

  "And old for your years. And I--I am twenty-eight, and young for myyears." Laydon laughed, too. He was giddy with happiness. "Gilead Balm!What a strange name for a place--and you've lived there always--"

  "Always."

  They were moving now down the alley toward a gate that gave upon thehighroad. Near by lay an open field seized upon, at Christmas, by a mobof small boys with squibs and torpedoes and cannon crackers. They hada bonfire, and the wood smoke drifted across, together with the odourof burning powder. The boys were shouting like Liliputian soldiery, andthe squibs and giant crackers shook the air as with a continuous elfinbombardment. The nearest church was ringing its bells. Laydon and Hagarcame to the gate--not the main but a lesser entrance to Eglantine. Noone was in view; hand in hand they leaned against the wooden palings.Before them stretched the road, an old, country pike going on and onbetween cedar and locust and thorn until it dropped into the violetdistance.

  "I wish we were out upon it," said Hagar; "I wish we were out upon it,going on and on through the world, travelling like gipsies!"

  "You look like a gipsy," he said. "Have you got gipsy blood in you?"

  "No.... Yes. Just to go on and on. The open road--and a clear fire atnight--and to see all things--"

  "Hagar--Why did they call you Hagar?"

  "I don't know. My mother named me."

  "Hagar, we've got to think a little.... It took us so by surprise....We had best, I think, just quietly say nothing to anybody for awhile.... Don't you think so?"

  "I had not thought about it, but I will," said Hagar. She gazeddown the road, her brows knit. The Christmas cannonading went on, acontinuous miniature tearing and shaking of the air, with a dwarfshouting and laughing, and small coalescing clouds of powder smoke. Theroad ran, a quiet, sunny streak, past this small bedlam, into the stilldistance. "I won't tell any one at Eglantine," she said at last, "untilMrs. LeGrand comes back. She will be back in a week. But I'll write tograndmother to-night."

  Laydon measured the gate with his hand. "I had rather not tell mymother at once. She is very delicate and nervous, and perhaps she hasgrown a little selfish in her love for me. Besides, she had set herheart on--" He threw that matter aside, it being a young and attractivekinswoman with money. "I had rather not tell her just now. Then, asto Mrs. LeGrand.... Of course, I suppose, as I am a teacher here, andyou are a pupil ... but there, too, had we not best delay a little? Itwill make a confusion--things will be said--my position will becomean embarrassing one. And you, too, Hagar,--it won't be pleasant foryou either. Isn't it better just to keep our own concerns to ourselvesfor a while? And your people up the river--why not _not_ tell themuntil summer-time? Then, when you go home,--and when I have finishedmy engagement here, for I don't propose to come back to Eglantine nextyear,--then you can tell them, and so much better than you could writeit! I could follow you to Gilead Balm--we could tell them together.Then we could discuss matters and our future intelligently--and thatis impossible at the moment. Let us just quietly keep our happiness toourselves for a while! Why should the world pry into it?" He seized herhands and pressed his face against them. "Let us be happy and silent."

  She looked at him with her candid eyes. "No, we shouldn't be happy thatway. I'll write to grandmother to-night."

  They gazed at each other, the gate between them. The strongenchantment held, but a momentary perplexity crossed it, and thenever long-laid dust of pain was stirred. "I am not asking anythingwrong," said Laydon, a hurt note in his voice. "I only see certainembarrassments--difficulties that may arise. But, darling, darling! itshall be just as you please! 'I'd crowns resign to call you mine'--andso I reckon I can face mother and Mrs. LeGrand and Colonel Ashendyne!"A flush came into his cheek. "I've been so foolish, too, as to--as topay a little attention to Miss Bedford. But she is too sensible awoman to think that I meant anything seriously--"

  "Did you?"

  "Not in the least," said Laydon truthfully. "A man gets lonely, andhe craves affection and understanding, and he's in a muddle before heknows it. There isn't anything else there, and I never said a word of_love_ to her. Darling, darling! I never loved any one until last nightby the fire, and you looked up at me with those wonderful eyes, and Ilooked down, and our eyes met and held, and it was like a fine flameall over--and now I'm yours till death--and I'll run any gauntlet youtell me to run! If you write to your people to-night, so will I. I'llwrite to Colonel Ashendyne."

  They left the gate and again pursued the syringa alley. The sound ofthe Christmas bombardment drifted away. When they reached the shadow ofthe great bushes, he kissed her again. All the air was blue and hazyand the church bells were ringing, ringing. "I haven't any money," saidLaydon. "Mother has a very little, but I've never been able, somehow,to lay by. I'll begin now, though, and then, as I told you, I expectnext year to have a much better situation. Dr. ---- at ---- thinks hemay get me in there. It would be delightful--a real field at last,the best of surroundings and a tolerable salary. If I were fortunatethere, we could marry very soon, darling, darling! But as it is--It iswretched that Eglantine pays so little, and that there is so littlerecognition here of ability--no career--no opportunity! But just youwait and see--you one bright spot here!"

  Hagar gazed at the winding path, strewn with bronze leaves, and atthe syringa bushes, later to be laden with fragrant bloom, and at thegreat white sycamore boughs against the pallid blue, and at the roofand chimneys of Eglantine, now apparent behind the fretwork of trees.The inner eye saw the house within, the three-years-familiar rooms,her "tower room"--and all the human life, the girls, the teachers, theservants. Bright drops came to her eyes. "I've been unhappy here, too,sometimes. But I couldn't stay three years in a place and not lovesomething about it."

  "That is because you are a woman," said the lover. "With a man it isdifferent. If a place isn't right, it isn't right.--If I had but fivethousand dollars! Then we might marry in a month's time. As it is,we'll have to wait and wait and wait--"

  "I am going to work, too," said Hagar. "I am going to try somehow tomake money."

  He laughed. "You dear gipsy! You just keep your beautiful, large eyes,and those dusky war
m waves of hair, and your long slim fingers, and theway you hold yourself, and let 'trying to earn money' go hang! That'smy part. Too many women are trying to earn money, anyhow--competingwith us.--You've got just to be your beautiful self, and keep on lovingme." He drew a long breath. "Jove! I can see you now, in a parlourthat's our own at ----, receiving guests--famous guests, maybe, aftera while; people who will come distances to see me! For I don't mean toremain unknown. I know I've got ability."

  Before they left the alley they settled that both should write thatnight to Gilead Balm. Laydon found the idea distasteful enough;older and more worldly-wise than the other, he knew that therewould probably ensue a tempest, and he was constitutionally averseto tempests. He was well enough in family, but no great things;he had a good education, but so had others; he could give a goodcharacter--already he was running over in mind a list of clergymen,educators, prominent citizens, and Confederate veterans to whomhe could refer Colonel Ashendyne. He had some doubt, however, asto whether comparative spotlessness of character would have withColonel Ashendyne the predominant and overweening value that itshould have. Money--he had no means; position--he had as yet anuncertain foothold in the world, and no powerful relatives to pushhim. Unbounded confidence he had in himself, but the point was tocreate that confidence in Hagar's people. Of course, they would saythat she was too young, and that he had taken advantage. His skirtswere clear there; both had truthfully been taken prisoners, falleninto an ambuscade of ancient instinct; there hadn't been the slightestpremeditation. But how to convey that fact to the old Bourbon up theriver? Laydon had once been introduced to Colonel Ashendyne upon one ofthe latter's rare visits to the neighbouring city and to Eglantine. Heremembered stingingly the Colonel's calm and gentlemanly willingnessimmediately to forget the existence of a teacher of Belles-Lettresin a Young Ladies' School. The letter to Gilead Balm. He didn't wantto write it, but he was going to--oh! he was going to.... Women werecuriously selfish about some things.... Mrs. LeGrand, too; he thoughtthat he would write about it to Mrs. LeGrand. He could imagine what shewould say, and he didn't want to hear it. He was in love, and he wasgoing to do the honourable thing, of course; he had no idea otherwise.But he certainly entertained the wish that Hagar could see how entirelyhonourable, as well as discreet, would be silence for a while.

  Hagar never thought of it in terms of "honour." She had no adequateidea of his reluctance. It might be said that she knew already thearching of Mrs. LeGrand's brows and the lightning and thunder thatmight issue from Gilead Balm. Grandfather and grandmother, Aunt Serenaand Uncle Bob looked upon her as nothing but a child. She wasn't achild; she was eighteen. She felt no need to vindicate herself, nor toapologize. She was moving through what was still almost pure bliss,moving with a dreamlike tolerance of difficulties. What did it matter,all those things? They were so little. The air was wine and velvet,colours were at once soft and clear, sound was golden. In the generaltransfiguration the man by her side appeared much like a demigod. Herwings were fairly caught and held by the honey. It was natural for herto act straightforwardly, and when she must propose that she act sostill, it was simply a putting forward, an unveiling of the mass of hernature. She showed herself thus and so, and then went on in her happydream. Had he been able to make her realize his great magnanimity ingiving up his point of view to hers, perhaps she might have strivenfor magnanimity, too, and acquiesced in a temporary secrecy, perhapsnot--on the whole, perhaps not. Had she deeply felt the secrecy to benecessary, had they paced the earth in another time and amid actualdangers, wild beasts could not have torn from her a relation of theircase.

  But Laydon thought that she was thinking in terms of "honour." Purewomen were naturally up in arms at the suggestion of secrecy. Theirdelicate minds had at once a vision of deception, desertion, all kindsof horrors. He acknowledged that men had given them reason for thevision; they could not be blamed if they saw it even when an entirelyhonourable and devoted man was at their feet. He smiled at what hesupposed Hagar thought; his warm sense of natural supremacy becamerich and deep; he felt like an Eastern king unfolding a generous andnoble nature to some suppliant who had reason to doubt those qualitiesin Eastern kings at large--he experienced a sumptuous, Oriental,Ahasuerus-and-Esther feeling. Poor little girl! If she had any absurdfear like that--He began to be eager to get to the letter to ColonelAshendyne. He could see his own strong black handwriting on a largesheet of bond paper. _My dear Colonel Ashendyne:--You will doubtless besurprised at the nature and contents of this letter, but I beg of youto_--

  The syringa alley ended, and the west wing of the house, beyond whichstretched the offices, opened upon them. Zinia, the mulatto maid, andold Daniel, the gardener, watched them from a doorway. "My Lord!" saidZinia. "Dey's walkin' right far apart, but I knows a co'tin' air whenI sees it! Miss Sarah better come back here!"

  Daniel frowned. He had been born on the Eglantine place and the majestyand honour and glory of Eglantine were his. "Shet yo' mouf, gal! Don'tno co'tin' occur at Eglantine. Hit's Christmas an' everybody looksgood an' shinin' lak de angels. Dey two jes' been listenin' to de'lumination an' talkin' jography an' Greek!"

  As the two stepped upon the west porch, the door opened and MissBedford came out--Miss Bedford in a very pretty red hood and aConnemara cloak. Miss Bedford had a sharp look. "Where did you two findeach other?" she asked; then, without waiting for an answer, "Hagar!Mrs. Lane has been looking for you. She wants you to help her do upparcels for her mission children. I've been tying up things until I amtired, and now I am going to walk down the avenue for a breath of air.Hurry in, dear; she needs you.--Oh, Mr. Laydon! there's a passage in'The Ring and the Book' that I've been wanting to ask you to explain--"

  Hagar went in and tied up parcels in coloured tissue paper. The daywent by as in a dream. There was a Christmas dinner, with holly on thetable, and little red candles, and in the afternoon she went with Mrs.Lane to a Christmas tree for poor children in the Sunday-School room ofa neighbouring church. The tree blazed with an unearthly splendour, thestar in the top seemed effulgent, the "Ohs!" and "Ahs!" and laughterof the circling children, fell into a rhythm like sweet, low, distantthunder.

  That night she wrote both to her grandmother and her grandfather.When she had made an end of doing so, she kneeled upon the braidedrug before the fire in her tower room, loosed her dark hair,shook it around her, and sat as in a tent, her arms clasping herknees, her head bowed upon them. "_Carcassonne--Aigues-Mortes.Carcassonne--Aigues-Mortes._ I can't send a letter to father, for Idon't know where to address it. Mother--mother--mother! I can't send aletter to you either...."